The decision to try for my black belt seemed easy at the time, I had an inkling of what might lie ahead but like most situations that are unknown I did not fully understand.
As a 50 year old working mother of two children (who also enjoy Shinbudo), I knew that although I was not a natural athlete in any sense of the word, I did have strong determination on my side.
I also remembered that Sensei would constantly remind us not to compare our journey with any one else, it was our own journey.While the decision to grade to black is one you make by yourself, the journey itself is not one you make alone.There was never a time when I did not have a black belt come up to me and ask was I ok – did I need anything. From each I learnt many things.
Matt and Mel’s classes taught me to be strong and not give up – there is no way I could have done those 25 leap frogs on Friday night if I had not attended and enjoyed that part of my journey.
On Wednesday’s I would present myself for Stephen and Mai Lai’s class. Stephen has been taught well by Mai Lai and as we all know Mai Lai does not have the word “easy” in her vocabulary. I was also lucky to have both Joc and Maree working with me. Each Wed for the last part of class we would continue to work on my kicks or my syllabus. I could not have attempted to break the boards if it had not been for Joc. I would not have got thru the sparring if I did not have Maree, Ben and the other black belts pushing me to go one more round, one more round. Sparring was by biggest fear as I had been in a physically abusive relationship in my 20’s and the scars were hard to heal. The fact I managed 15 rounds in a neutral state with a strong feeling of support surrounding me is a credit to the support I received whilst training.
Finally on Friday’s I would present myself to Rach, who would keep pushing me, correcting my technique, supporting me and motivating me to go harder, go that extra minute and punch that little but harder. She would be reminding me to go with what ever presents.
Did it help me prepare when I was faced with Gabriel on the Friday night? A small voice inside said “hmm he is big”, but then I knew I just had to go back to being neutral and face each situation, each moment calmly and strongly.
My journey to black belt is one that I shared with many and it is easy to see why the spirit at Northstar shines so strongly.
Thank you for being a part of that journey with me.
The last word I think belongs to my Dad. I showed him the video of my throws on the Sunday. He asked quite concerned why everyone was cheering when I was thrown to the ground. I told him no – they were cheering because I could get up again.
Deb
Powerful Women Who Inspire…
Cynthia Parr
Cynthia stars in a documentary about her life called “By your side” due to be screened soon.
What is it that you do?
I work as a Palliative Care Physician at Royal North Shore and Greenwich Hospitals. My job is to improve the quality of life of people with terminal illnesses and relieve them of distressing physical, psychosocial or spiritual symptoms. I work with a team of doctors, nurses and allied health staff to achieve this and we also provide a support system for our patients’ families.
How long have you been doing this work?
I’ve been caring for the dying, predominantly cancer patients, for the last eleven years and before this a lot of my medical training was in cancer wards.
Who has been your inspiration?
Most people ask me if I get depressed at watching the people around me die on a daily basis. I would have to say that in spite of some very sad moments, there is so much that is positive in the way my patients and colleagues deal with adversity. I may see grief and sadness but I also see altruism, humour, bravery, stoicism, resilience, forgiveness, hope and love in the face of death and this restores my faith in all that is good about people. I would have to say that my patients are my driving force and my inspiration.
How do you relax?
It is very important to make sure that I recognize when I am burning out or need a break. I relax by debriefing with other colleagues about difficult cases, taking decent long holidays regularly and balancing work (which I do part-time) with play. I also foster friendships and make it a point to see my family regularly. Exercise is great for unwinding, especially at Northstar where I learnt how to detach myself from emotions, focus and live in the moment. Punching and kicking the pads helped too! Above all, I have the support of my husband to help me through trying times.
What does not change?
Happiness is a base line that we all would like to have as a constant in our lives. Yet it can be here one minute and gone the next. Why is that so?
Change is inevitable in all aspects of life, seasons come and go, life is constantly moving. Identification and attachment to all that exists can be a major source of suffering.
How do we overcome suffering?
Is it normal to suffer?
What does not change?
These are “thinking” questions, so test the ole grey matter this Friday morning and see what you can share…..look forward to hearing from you…
Andy
8 ways to improve and take control of your life
As we get close to our first Super Session Grading on 28th March, I thought that I would check in with you to see how your preparation is going. Have you registered yet? Have you made the commitment? Gradings are great for self improvement. As Northstar develops lifestyles and not fighters, use your grading preparation to hone all aspects of your life.
Between now and grading as well as getting physically fit, lets also overlay some of the mental and emotional qualities we practice at Northstar.
1. When some one pushes, move a side and let them pass. This takes strength of mind as your previous action would be to resist, make a point, or have a compulsive need to give your opinion. Just try to be still and quiet every now and then and see what happens.
2. Become aware of the space between you and others. An awareness of that space means that you can control it. Once you know about this space, you instantly become aware of how you move in others space. For the next couple of weeks, when the overpowering need to get your stuff done arises, just take time to think about how you may be intruding on others space.
3. Smile in conflict.
Quite often when we are training, pushing, shoving, sparring and practicing self defence, there is a real buzz in the dojo. There is talking, laughing and people are really connecting. Strange isn’t it really! Connect with the same lightness when you are going about your daily routines. Give life a lighter, simpler touch and try not to take yourself too seriously.
4. Practice Determination
The ability to go beyond your perceived barriers. The belief that you can succeed regardless of your current situation. Use the small wins in life to prepare you for the big challenges. Sometimes from the depths of despair and depression a tiny flicker of hope is enough to help you put one foot in front of the other. Challenge yourself constantly by facing your fears.
5. Acknowledge the support and caring of others by offering gratitude. Generosity of spirit strengthens your ability to forgive and opens your heart to receive. “What’s in it for me”, has no place here.
6. Keep your own counsel.
Own your thoughts, actions, plans and dreams. Only you know what they mean to you. If you are constantly swayed by the crowd, surprise yourself and others by starting to believe that your own uniqueness is special and worthy. This is how leadership is developed.
7. Accept change.
In fighting you have to adapt and move very quickly. The instant you get set in your ways you get hit. This is a great metaphor for living. If you are too set into believing your reality will never change, when it does change, there is incredible suffering.
8. Be fluid and supple and friendly with life. Make a decision from this day moment on, you will never be less than friendly towards yourself
* No more treating yourself like a slave.
* No more putting yourself down – ever.
* No more negative assumptions
* No more torment over past events that you cannot change.
* No more putting up with other peoples abuse or unkindness
* No more postponing doing what you love doing most.
Practice these simple life skills and see what happens. Your gift to me is to pass them on.
Andy Dickinson
Spirituality in Martial Arts
I posted a question at the end of last week on where does spirituality sit with Martial Arts. Is it there? Has it ever been there? Is it an important part of the training? Is it necessary ?
Here are some of the contributions so far:
Spirituality – seems to me that in martial arts, now, in 2010, it’s optional. You can do it just for sport or health or fitness or whatever it is in that physical realm that you want to give to and take from it. Or you can surrender to it a bit more and embed it into your internal world and give to and take from it a wealth of inner strength and a way of seeing and feeling those around you
Catherine
I really think it does, I always remember the series in TV (old ones) with john Carradine. He was a peaceful and spiritual man and used Kung FU to defend himself and make right win over evil. I think the martial arts tech control, concentration and this in turn leads to mindfulness and mindfulness lead the mind to higher planes this is a more spiritual plane.
Beatriz
As for the answer. Yes it’s definately there. I think it helps us focus when we enter the dojo, how we do the multiple defense and the rest of the work out. Helps us listen to the instructor and I’d say is linked to other things like respect. All these things are important and I know they are always and always have been there.
Jack